i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
