So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize