just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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