So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
