Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize