I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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