pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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