I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize