no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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