Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
