I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Watching her eat just hurts me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
