Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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