This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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