Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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