K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
