hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
