she smelled like a LAN party
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
