Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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