She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
