She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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