Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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