connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't turn off my feet"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
