are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
