Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
