you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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