and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
