yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
