at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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