Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
