i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
