Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
