So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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