I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
