It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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