508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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