I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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