i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize