I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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