whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
