Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
