Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize