Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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