I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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