Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
3pm strippers are depressing
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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