creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
