i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
