His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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