Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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