If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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