it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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