3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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