I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
