There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
