I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they need to just BURY HIM!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
