If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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