i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
