I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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