in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
