Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
