ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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