Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
