Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
