Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
