Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
