We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was CRYING into my vagina
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
