i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
