I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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