i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
